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I read because I must. It's like breathing to me. And I love talking about books. But I'm also an Arsenal fan, a wine drinker, a music lover and weirdly obsessed with pop culture. I mostly blog about books, but sometimes about things I'm thinking or doing. When I'm not on the blog, I'm scoping deals for a professional services company, hanging out with friends, or seeing some live theater.

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Russell Wiley Made Me Laugh…And Cringe

Posted on 26 Oct 2010 In: Reading
Russell Wiley Is Out To Lunch
Richard Hine


Russell Wiley Is Out To Lunch made me laugh out loud.  Reading the story of Russell Wiley, trying to survive the downward spiral that is the daily business paper that employs him, was almost like watching an episode of The Office.


Russell Wiley’s daily paper is facing a do or die fight for survival.  Politics run rampant through the office. Loyalty is tantamount.  Russell’s trying to keep his job, and the jobs of his team, safe.  He’s got a bit of a crush on a co-worker. And he’s writing astute business articles under a pseudonym.  On the home front, things aren’t much better. He and his wife are in a dry spell, and no matter what he tries, Russell can’t seem to connect with her. Add to this mix the arrival of the Process Consultant to save the day, and Russell feels as though he might drown.  Until he comes up with his own fail proof plan for survival.


But I also have to tell you about what made me cringe in this story.  And cringe in a good way.  See, I’ve been that Process Consultant (capitalized here much like Superman might be).  I’ve been perceived like this Judd has. And I’ve seen the political office game be played.  The cringing comes from those situations that are so realistic, you know you’ve been in them, you know what’s coming, and you’re powerless to stop it, but you’re still compelled to watch it unfold. 


Like so many of us, Russell started out young and idealistic, intent on changing the world. Fast forward fifteen years, and Russell is like so many of us formerly young and idealistic kids- schlepping away in a middle management job that doesn’t excite him. He’s somewhat loath to change his circumstances- there’s security, change is hard, and do we really have it in us once we hit our mid-thirties to still change the world?


But you can see in Russell’s articles- written under a pen name, and often taking a scathing job at the failings of his own employer- that he has a real passion existing deep within him.  He’s frustrated with where his life is, both personally and professionally, and he’s desperate for something, anything, to happen.  He gets, in many ways, more than he bargained for.


I found Russell Wiley Is Out To Lunch to be witty and snarky.  I recognized so many of the people and the circumstances as I read through the book, and I found myself cheering for Russell Wiley.




Mourning What Might Have Been

Posted on 23 Oct 2010 In: Thinking

I got some news this week that put me in a bit of a funk.  Thankfully, nothing serious, and most certainly a first world problem. But still, it caused me a bit of angst.  I’ll get to that but you first need the back story.
Several years ago, I was part of The Crew, a group of friends and alliances formed through a bunch of young singletons moving to the city and conquer the world as corporate drones. We became friends out of necessity, each of us new to the area, with few ties and needing camaraderie.  There were seven of us at the heart of the group, with a few others added in over the years as people moved to town, or old relationships rekindled.
I have very few memories of my first five or six years here that don’t somehow include the Crew.  We spent weekends together, hitting local bars and restaurants; grilling out by the pool; playing ultimate Frisbee; and just being together.  We had our own Holiday dinners together before heading out of town to our respective families. Some of us vacationed together. We spent weekends in the mountains, hiking.   We were, in a lot of ways, our own real life version of Friends or Beverly Hills, 90210 (the original, not the remake), complete with all the variations of relationships that went on in those shows.
I remember thinking several years ago that this would all end, eventually. Or at a minimum, change. We’d get married, change jobs, move, and lose touch. Like the characters on Friends, time and circumstance would eventually cause us to part ways. Yet, I thought we’d connect for weddings and births, exchange Holiday cards, and celebrate major life events.
Despite knowing that most of us would eventually become only Christmas card friends, there are a few people from the Crew I thought would be in my life forever.  Friendships I put a lot of effort into.  This week, it’s become apparent that save for one couple, I’ve been left behind? Moved on? from the Crew.
I lost frequent contact with the person in the Crew that I was closest to.  Someone who, perhaps, I fell a bit in love with at one point. Someone who gave the signals that perhaps he was interested as well, until I learned that was largely his modus operandi. When my personal and professional life settled down, I reached out again to this person, telling him how much I missed our friendship, how sorry I was that I hadn’t been able to put the effort into our friendship as much lately, and that I wanted to make our friendship a priority again if he was willing. Crickets. I’ve never received any response from him. At a Christmas party a couple of years ago, after this attempted reconciliation, I saw him and we exchanged the type of polite, impersonal conversation you share with people you don’t know at a first meeting. 

While it had been evident in other circumstances- a birthday dinner, a dinner when one of our Crew was home from London for a few days-it finally became clear to me at that party that I was no longer a priority with some of these people who I had at one time considered amongst my closest friends.
What it took me a while to acknowledge is that I never was a priority with these particular people. I can see with time and perspective, I always put a lot more into the friendship with these two individuals than they did with me. I chose to not see it when it was going on, because my perceived reality made me happy. I enjoyed being with these people. It filled some void I had, and gave me a pseudo-family.
I learned yesterday that one of these people has married, and the other is now engaged, and I am feeling a sense of mourning. Grief for what I now realize is what could have been.  If our friendship had been equal, if I had been a priority to them, if I had not been largely out of touch for a couple of years because of constant travel and incredibly long work hours, I may have been a part of these celebrations.
If I’m being honest, there was an element of self pity in there as well. With these two marriages, I’m the last of the Crew to settle down. Yes, I’ve got the mortgage and the good job and the home repairs that make you an adult, but I don’t have the husband and kids.  And at this stage of my life, I’m relatively certain that is not in the cards for me, which I am working to be OK with. Still, it makes one feel a bit defective when you feel like all your friends are on board the same train, and you’re standing on the platform, watching that train pull out of the station and leave you behind.  Like I said, that’s a moment of self-pity, and I quickly pushed that to the back of my mind.
So, the point of all this? I’m not sure. Perhaps my own catharsis, closing the door on a previous phase of my life. Solidifying these as nice memories with people I needed in my life for a particular reason at a particular time. People and times I can remember fondly but leave them in the past, where they belong.  Instead, I can focus on the people who are still a part of my life. The people I prioritize, and who prioritize me. Celebrate what is, and what is to come, not mourn what might have been. 

So, I Met My Goal. Now What?

Posted on 11 Oct 2010 In: Reading

When I started this little blog, I was going to read 52 books in a year.  I planned to blog my thoughts here, and that would be that.


Except that I finished early.  And I like doing the blog.  So what now, since I’ve read all 52 books?


I worked with Marian Schembari, who gave me some fantastic pointers on ways to improve the blog. And I’m going to spend time over the next few weeks working with folks who know a lot more than I do to migrate this blog to a new bookfetish domain, and implement said changes.


In the meantime, I’m going to keep reading and keep blogging.  I’m reading slowly right now.  I’m re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in preparation for the next film.


That’s a slow one for me to read. There’s so much going on, and I read it so quickly the first time that I know I missed things.  I want to take time to really enjoy it and catch all the action with this reading.


So, stay tuned, and keep checking in. I’ll update as I’m reading new things. Although now that I’ve met my goal, I may slow down my pace a bit.


Thanks for reading.

Simply My Favorite Book, Ever.

Posted on 4 Oct 2010 In: Reading
Book 52: To Kill A Mockingbird
Harper Lee

I’ve loved To Kill A Mockingbird since I first read it, in Mrs. Reid’s ninth grade honors English class.  It was, I think, the first book of assigned reading that truly captivated me.  I’ve re-read the book countless times since then. In fact, I used to re-read it at least once a year. That frequency has died off a bit in the last few years, but it is still easily my most beloved book.  When I set out on this little quest of mine, to see if I could read 52 books in 52 weeks, this was the only book I knew I would read, and I knew that it would be book 52.  It is a coincidence that I also read it during banned books week, as it has been one of the most frequently challenged book since its publication in 1960.

What can I say about To Kill A Mockingbird that hasn’t already been said, probably with greater eloquence than I can hope for, by innumerable people before me?  Not much, perhaps. But I can tell you why I this book means so much to me.

My mother’s family is from a small town in Alabama.  Lee’s description of the town and its inhabitants is as familiar to me as my own family, despite me not growing up in either the era of To Kill A Mockingbird, or having ever lived in such a small town myself. The admonishment to not “take a check from the Delafield’s without a discrete call to the bank first…” is so true of a small town where every family knows every other family, and their business.  I think it is that sense of connection that first drew me in to the story.

Scout.  What a terrific heroine!  Running around with her brother Jem, just a bit precocious, getting into trouble. Yet smart, and fiercely loyal.  With a child’s sense of justice, and a child’s world view.  

Boo Radley. Misunderstood. Shy and quiet. An example of persecution and misunderstanding as much as Tom Robinson.  But also loyal and courageous, and a hero.

But, most beloved to me is Atticus.  Lee really shaped what a hero is, what integrity is, what character is, when she wrote Atticus Finch.   An intellectual, older than the other fathers in the town, Atticus is at first a dubious hero in the eyes of his children. As the story winds on, though, we see that Atticus embodies what we should all strive to be. His definition of courage- fighting a losing battle even when you know you are beaten before you start, because it is the fight itself that is important- resonates just as soundly today as it did in 1960.  

Lee’s central theme, that all people should be treated equally, and with respect, regardless of the color of their skin,  carries through today. Race, still, is a divisive factor.  Let’s throw into the mix religion and orientation as well.  Sadly, Lee’s is a message we need just as much now as we did when the book was first published.

I could go on and on about this book. Had I not been reading a 50th Anniversary hardback edition, I would have had notes and highlights throughout the book. I couldn’t do that to this one. But as I was reading it, I pictured in my mind the notes from that first purple, paperback copy, “Foreshadowing. Courage.  Metaphor.”

I think, simply, Harper Lee said what she needed to say with To Kill A Mockingbird. I for one, am glad that she did.

Grab a Glass of Wine, and Let’s Snark

Posted on 28 Sep 2010 In: Reading

Book 51: 
My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict’s Attempt to Discover if Not Being a Dumbass is the New Black,
Or, A Culture-up Manifesto

Jen Lancaster
Any time I pick up a Jen Lancaster book, or in this case, listen to one, I feel like I am sitting down to catch up with a snarky, wine-swilling, smart-assed girl friend.  In other words, it’s a good time.

I first discovered Jen Lancaster in Bitter is the New Black, and found myself laughing out loud on an airplane between Boston and Atlanta.  I couldn’t help it. It was that funny.

I’ve read all of Lancaster’s books, but some I’ve identified more with than others.  My Fair Lazy was one where I felt like we were largely on the same wave length.  I’m nowhere near the reality TV junkie Jen is, but I do like my share of the Real Housewives .  Similarly, The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles hold a special place in my heart.  So I was right there with Lancaster when she realized that her knowledge of all things pop culture might not be completely helpful to her in a number of social situations.  And thus begins her Jenaissance. Her quest to get some culture and expand her horizons.

Lancaster’s series of essays around this subject are both amusing and thought provoking, and at times, poignant.  As she explores live theater, world cuisines, and difference cities, Jen realizes her attitude may have been one of the reasons she lost her job in the dot com bust of the early 2000s.

She learns a lot about herself, which is endearing to read about. Anyone who’s been on any type of journey of self-discovery will relate. At the same time, she learns to balance her love of the superficial with an appreciation of the cultural and intellectual. In other words, well-rounded.

Chock full of the wit and style Lancaster is known for, My Fair Lazy will not disappoint fans, or newcomers, to her work.  And we all know that anyone who can still argue the finer points of Jake Ryan is bound to be fun at a dinner party.