It’s been a while since I’ve posted a “Thinking” post. But it’s time for one now.
I believe in paying attention to intuition, to signs, to the subtle things that tell you your “normal” might be a bit off. I’ve been having one of those moments lately. I’ve never been a pink girl. Remember that scene in Steel Magnolias where Shelby said her wedding colors were blush and bashful and Melynn said they were pink and pink? I would never have that conversation. I shied away from the color most of my youth, instead preferring reds and greens, blacks and silvers. As I have gotten older, pink, in very small doses, has worked its way into my life. But I’m still not a pink girl.
Then about a week ago, I had a sudden urge to wear pink. Not fuchsia (I can barely even spell it. Seriously. I had to look it up), not rose, but pink. Pale pink. THIS IS NOT ME. This was even a Facebook-worthy posting because people who know me well reacted to the statement that I felt an urge to wear pink the same way they did when I announced that I was on my way to a Britney Spears concert – shock, disbelief, and wondering if I’d lost a bet.
Still, I have wise friends and more than one of them advised me to go with this urge. Of course, it is November and there isn’t much pale pink to be found. Instead, I have added some lavender and rose colored items to the wardrobe. I don’t know yet what is driving this urge- if it is a desire to be softer, maybe more feminine; if I’m just tired of the black in my closet, or if it is the dreary fall weather that is making me want some different shades. At any rate, I’m going with it.
And late this week, I had another realization. I always write in black ink. Always. Work or personal. Black ink. Work I get. And I’m fine keeping work writing in black ink. But what would happen if in personal writing- cards, my journal, the grocery list- I used a color other than black? So, when I was at Target yesterday, I came away with pens that write in green, and turquoise, purple, orange, red and blue. In short, any color but black. And I am looking for opportunities to use them. I am fascinated by the idea that the urge to use more color in both my clothing and my environment might be related to some locked creativity or self-discovery.
Now I’m on a mission to fully suss this out. I’m deliberately choosing colors other than black and red to wear every day. I’m taking an extra moment to write in some other color. I’m trying to be open to any other little messages that might be out there, waiting for me. I’m trying to be more open, more vulnerable in general. I want to see where being open to this creativity – to more color- may take me.