I ordered Eleanore Wells’ The Spinsterlicious Life on the recommendation of my friend Landon, and the title alone had me fully intrigued.
Based on some of the essays found on her blog of the same name, The Spinsterlicious Life recounts Wells’ adventures in life and dating as a woman of a certain age who has chosen to remain single and childless.
I admit that although I was excited to read this one, I also approached it with a degree of trepidation. While Wells happily celebrates her choices, I am not single and childless by choice. Still, it’s the circumstance in which I find myself, and what resonates from Wells is the message that a single life, a life not defined by motherhood, is not a wasted or incomplete life.
The sisterhood of the single is an intimate one, and Wells touches on so many of its nuances. The disconnection we feel when our formerly fabulous friends pair off and procreate- and then can talk about nothing but their children. This is a delicate area, hard to approach with our friends, and Wells handles it with aplomb, honesty, and just a touch of snarky humor: “…and we want the opportunity to have conversations with you that are as banal as those we’re having with everyone else! And honestly, your kids are interesting, but they’re not that interesting.”
As a single by circumstance, I’m largely happy with my life. Still, it’s sometimes hard to focus on what’s cool about being single rather than focusing on not being part of a long term couple. Wells points out some great things about being single, including how as singles, we’re less likely to be murdered by a loved one (I promise, this is an unexpectedly funny and simultaneously sad part of the book).
One of the things I’m most thankful for in The Spinsterlicious Life is Wells’ assertion that you can’t force chemistry. So many of my paired off friends try to talk me into liking a man when I just don’t feel that click. With her vast dating experience Wells explains, quite well, how you can’t force, and hell, shouldn’t try to force chemistry. It’s there or it isn’t, and it’s so much more fun to date a man when it’s there.
For fabulous single and childless women – by choice or by circumstance- everywhere, The Spinsterlicious Life is a fast, fun read full of insights that make you feel a camaraderie with Eleanore Wells. After you read the book, you can keep up with her adventures at her blog here.