This was originally the next post. And then it wasn’t.  But then L told me she wants another GNO before she’s introduced to the blogosphere, so we’re back to last Wednesday at the Twisted Taco. Which makes me realize there was another theme to last week- Taco Mac, Twisted Taco, and the Mexican place by the Kroger. So yeah, chips-and-salsa was also a pretty big theme.

At any rate this GNO had been on the calendar for a while. A deadline was fast approaching. Two days after this dinner, K was scheduled to have her third child. (And she did,  a healthy little girl, congratulations to K and her husband).  Em and K and I were going out to give K a respite from pregnancy hormones and being Mommy and just having some girl time.

We were all sorority advisors for a while. In a unique twist, this particular group of advisors got on well together, and after we began taking divergent paths (I quit advising. E moved. Em and K went on to other roles) we realized we all genuinely like each other and have found ways to stay in touch over the years.  K hosts us for the Oscars each year.We all saw the Sex and the City movie together. There’s a bachelorette party whenever one of us gets married; a shower for a new baby; sometimes just gathering for a good time.  And that is what Wednesday night was. K and  Em and I having a relaxing dinner before this huge, wonderful event in the coming days.

Because the sorority is our commonality, some portion of our conversation inevitably revolves around what is going on within it. Thankfully it is not all we have in common. Because while I have wonderful memories of my time in this sorority, and admit that it did shape in part who I am today, I am not trying to relive glory days. And neither are any of these other women. They are giving back to an organization that gave so much to them.  It is a nice commonality, and  a good conversation starter, but with jobs and spouses and babies and life, it isn’t enough to hold a friendship together over years.

We’ve been through marriages and babies and divorces and surgeries and remarriages and moves and unemployment and new jobs together. And we’ve still had this bond.  And now we’re back to Wednesday, celebrating us, celebrating the new baby, and celebrating Em’s brand new engagement (now that story? That’s a chick flick or a chick-lit novel just waiting to happen, I’m just saying)  and we talked about all these wonderful things, then the conversation turned to me. “What’s new with you?”

The four words I’d been dreading.  Because I know they are asked with utmost sincerity, that they genuinely are curious and want to know what is going on in my life. But all that stuff I listed earlier that we shared? The only news I’ve ever had to share is a new job.   Now, I’m thankful to not have experienced surgery or divorce or unemployment- I realize I’ve been blessed in many, many ways. But I often feel slightly out step, out of place with this group because the things that are becoming more and more a part of the conversation when we are all together- the fiances, the husbands, the babies- don’t apply to me.

It is sometimes a bit of a challenge for us to find that common ground, that bond that tethers us to each other, now.  Fortunately, we all think these friendships are important enough to find that commonality.  I come away from dinners and nights out with these wonderful, dynamic women thinking, look how different we are! But look how much we enjoy each others’ company.  And I know that although we don’t see each other as frequently as we did when we were all advisors together, my life would not be the same without these women in it.

So we enjoyed our margaritas and mexican food. We laughed about so many random things. I shared a little story about someone they don’t know just to get something off of my chest. In short, we had a wonderful time.  And as soon as K can be away from the new baby and her other kids for a while,  and Em is in desperate need of a break from wedding planning,  I’m ready to do it again.